On the Threshold to My Past
by TintedElements
Summary: A mesmerising summer day with the clearest blue sky I'd ever seen. A quiet neighbourhood away from the noises of the city. Soon, I'll see her again. Written by Autzulfrost.


This had been a completely stupid idea.

Standing here, ten steps away from the garden gate, ten steps down the neatly paved path leading up to a door of dark wood, I hesitate.

My finger rests less than an inch away from the doorbell, my inability to push forward and my reluctance to turn back halting its momentum.

What am I even doing here? So far this has only been pure idiocy on my part. I wonder if mum's worried. But even if she were, she had no way of contacting me. My phone's batteries had died sometime after I'd landed here. In the Land of Dreams and Hope.

I chew my lips nervously all the while taking in the complex design nature had carved into the grain of the elegant wood.

Through the perfectly manicured, multi-coloured rose bushes I'd seen the neighbour's dog looking at me oddly. It might have just been my nerves though.

I was never meant to be here, yet here I am.

I was never supposed to remember her visage, yet how could I not?

I was never meant to ever hear her voice again, yet it was not possible to miss it.

I was never supposed to know her whereabouts, yet fate had shoved them in my face.

She frowned back at me every morning as I looked into the mirror. Her smile hung from posters all over the place and from every radio her voice called out to me.

How could I not know her when everyone else knew her?

Mum hadn't known for a long time. Usually she was oblivious to stars and the latest trends, but she happened to pick up on this one.

After she'd found out, I was miserable. Which is why I'm here now. I know I've always wanted this, to see her, to hear her, to hold her hand in mine once more. Mum's prohibition of the music, no the voice, I loved was only the trigger.

It had felt so right when I left, but now I'm here I can't help wondering if _she _remembers. What if she doesn't? What if she thinks I'm merely another one of her crazy stalkers? That's not what I want to be to her. God knows she has enough of those. The papers never report it, but I see it in her eyes when I watch her performances on the internet.

Loneliness.

Isolation.

I can't help wondering if I'd even be welcomed here. I was left behind after all, when they'd left. Left for the Land of Hopes and leaving our family torn right through the middle. I'd held a grudge against this country for my entire childhood, but after realising that their separation had been inevitable I placed all my faith in this country.

And it hadn't failed me.

But my own doubts keep my hopes from rising. My doubts that plague me even now.

In a single moment I convince myself of the fact that she wouldn't remember one face when she saw millions of new ones every day and in the very same moment I tell myself it can't be true because surely she could see me in her mirror all the time just as I could.

But it was easy to forget that you shared the exact same face with someone else when the only time you ever saw them was when you looked at yourself.

By now my teeth must have worried my lips pretty badly because the metallic taste of blood filled my mouth.

Should I really be here?

My hand slips back to my side and clenches into a tight fist.

I probably shouldn't be here.

She probably doesn't have time for me.

I probably shouldn't have left without saying so much as a word to mum.

My life wasn't bad. I wasn't being maltreated. I was popular in school, even before I looked like the clone of an up and coming celebrity. I'd formed a band with my closest friends years ago and we performed from time to time, whether it be on the street or at someone's birthday party. It was fun. I was never bored.

Yet, it felt so incomplete.

So meaningless.

I should go back home, apologise to mum. After all, she was the one who had given me everything I've ever had. My education, my house, my home, my life.

But the one thing I really needed, the only thing I ever truly longed for, she had given to me just to take it away again.

My twin.

And here I am trying to find the puzzle pieces of my past and put them back while knowing that what has passed can never be returned.

I need to move on.

I need to let her live her life.

I need to get out of here.

I turn around and steel myself. Make up my mind, my resolution. And then I run.

Only I don't make it even a single step.

Just as I'd taken off, the door behind me flew open, a hand reached out to hold mine.

A hand just like mine.

The voice that reaches my ears stop my heart and make it race all at the same time.

"Wait, don't leave me, Len!"

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own the twins mentioned in this story.

A/N Hi all! I'm Autzulfrost :D I recently got addicted to certain Vocaloid songs and I was kind of fascinated with certain aspects of it and this idea randomly popped up.

For those of you who read my previous story Reversed: I haven't given up on rewriting the last half of the story like I said I would. It's just that it might take forever, like literally forever. It just kept getting pushed down my priority list especially because I have my hands full with my studies. And I'm really out of touch with the story and I also neglected to write down the plot... So yeah...

If anyone wants to know, the particular song that won't leave me alone is called Paradichlorobenzene and the Vocaloid is Kagamine Len.


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